The new Star Wars movie
I was just randomly going from link to link looking at whatever seemed interesting and I happened to see a fairly sarcastic column about the new Star Wars movie, which got me thinking about it. I like Star Wars. I like Star Trek too, but Star Wars just seems to have a little more character to it (at least the original three).
Personally, I think the idea to make a prequel trilogy was a good idea, with the following condition, that it didn't ruin the atmosphere, story, or quality of the original three movies. (Now I get to be a critic, hehe!) I think George Lucas failed on those three things.
The Phantom Menace was a movie with absolute no substance whatsoever. Did we seriously need a 20 minute pod racing scene? It added nothing to the story other than explaining how they got off the planet. Why not just have him win in a 5 min race, take his money and run back to the ship? Simple, nuff said. Jar-Jar Binks was clearly intended to be comic relief for a three year old. The fact that he was even in the movie at all is an insult to Star Wars fans everywhere. For God's sake, he hurt my ears! And while I'm on Jar-Jar, pretty much all of the aliens were some sort of unimaginative, barely veiled racial stereotype. This was never seen in the originals. There was never some horrible race of Chinese sounding businessmen trying to take over the world. There was no Jamaican-sounding backwater hick race only suitable for mockery and ridicule. Seriously, with all the things that George Lucas has put into games like Star Wars: Galaxies, and the hundreds of Jedi FPS games, why the hell couldn't he have been just a little more creative with the new aliens? The effects were good, now make them unique.
I personally liked having absolutely no idea what the aliens were saying in the originals. They communicated what they needed to through cues from other actors and by *gasp!* actually acting! Return of the Jedi was awesome for this with rescue scene at the beginning of the movie where Leia dresses up as a Bounty Hunter. The voice she uses, the voices of the pig-alien guards, the Twi'lek interpretter... not one of them speaks any sort of translated English. No Asian accents. No Creole accents. It was actually creative. All you needed to see for that whole scene to make sense was the little metallic ball that C3P0 calls a thermal detonator. Hell, any scene with Chewie in it was made by Harrison Ford's ability to actually act and interact with him. They need to bring that style of storytelling back.
How you say? Fire George Lucas' ass. Don't let him within 20 miles of a script, written or electronic. If he has any input on it whatsoever, he'll make it suck. We'll have completely unemotional, undeveloped relationships *cough* the whole Anniken and Padme love affair *cough*. Here's an idea, find an English major. They're all looking for work anyway =D. Any English major with a background in Shakespeare and other literature would be perfect for taking the basic plotline of the 3rd movie and running with it. We need MacBeth-style political intrigue with Hamlet- and Richard III-style warfare drama.
So, what's gotta be in it for sure? Aniken's gotta drop a set and because fearsome, and he's gotta do it quickly because he's already married Padme, and you can be pretty sure he's looking to make babies (Luke & Leia) like any man who gets to marry Natalie Portman. Then he has to meet Palpatine, and discover hate, malice, evil... the Dark Side. There needs to be political upheaval, and a Hilter-style take over of the Galaxy, and Vader's got to be leading. You need a betrayal of the Jedi order, some kind of slaughter of Jedi, real gestapo kind of stuff. The only problem is (and here's where the English majors come in) how exactly does this all go down and why should we the audience be personally involved?
Now, how exactly do you bring back the drama? First of all, fire George Lucas' ass. Or did I say that already? He seems to have lost his eye for the dramatic. Higher John Woo maybe. It'd be cool as hell to see Mission Impossible-style fight scenes, especially the destruction of the Jedi Order. He could even use his white pigeons (Woo's signature effect) to accent the destruction of the force of good in the Galaxy. Whoever is directing needs to watch old Hitler reels. The man had a way to rally people to a cause and evoke a real passion for vengeance. If the Empire wants to recruit Stormtroopers (rather than clone them all... a little far-fetched and contrived), there needs to be motivation. Fear is good, like with Captain Needa in Jedi, but initially, for massive political change to take place, there needs to be a reason. Maybe turn the Trade Federation into a despotic military robot-making juggernaut that must be crushed and the Jedis stand in the way... who knows? The English majors! =)
Ok, one other idea that really needs to find it's way into this movie. Show a battle from the command post. Having a holographic map with little division icons moving around while the Empire grows more and more arrogant, then send Aniken/Vader out to start wailing on stuff, and through cruelty of some sort, turn the battle into a slaughter. That's how you create a feared Jedi. He needs to kill living things too, not just droids, or it won't have the same evil effect. What I don't want to see is the ring of lasers in the Colisseum like in Attack of the Clones. Too much special effects, not enough drama and story.
And one final thing, don't EVER name is Attack of the (ANYTHING)!
Personally, I think the idea to make a prequel trilogy was a good idea, with the following condition, that it didn't ruin the atmosphere, story, or quality of the original three movies. (Now I get to be a critic, hehe!) I think George Lucas failed on those three things.
The Phantom Menace was a movie with absolute no substance whatsoever. Did we seriously need a 20 minute pod racing scene? It added nothing to the story other than explaining how they got off the planet. Why not just have him win in a 5 min race, take his money and run back to the ship? Simple, nuff said. Jar-Jar Binks was clearly intended to be comic relief for a three year old. The fact that he was even in the movie at all is an insult to Star Wars fans everywhere. For God's sake, he hurt my ears! And while I'm on Jar-Jar, pretty much all of the aliens were some sort of unimaginative, barely veiled racial stereotype. This was never seen in the originals. There was never some horrible race of Chinese sounding businessmen trying to take over the world. There was no Jamaican-sounding backwater hick race only suitable for mockery and ridicule. Seriously, with all the things that George Lucas has put into games like Star Wars: Galaxies, and the hundreds of Jedi FPS games, why the hell couldn't he have been just a little more creative with the new aliens? The effects were good, now make them unique.
I personally liked having absolutely no idea what the aliens were saying in the originals. They communicated what they needed to through cues from other actors and by *gasp!* actually acting! Return of the Jedi was awesome for this with rescue scene at the beginning of the movie where Leia dresses up as a Bounty Hunter. The voice she uses, the voices of the pig-alien guards, the Twi'lek interpretter... not one of them speaks any sort of translated English. No Asian accents. No Creole accents. It was actually creative. All you needed to see for that whole scene to make sense was the little metallic ball that C3P0 calls a thermal detonator. Hell, any scene with Chewie in it was made by Harrison Ford's ability to actually act and interact with him. They need to bring that style of storytelling back.
How you say? Fire George Lucas' ass. Don't let him within 20 miles of a script, written or electronic. If he has any input on it whatsoever, he'll make it suck. We'll have completely unemotional, undeveloped relationships *cough* the whole Anniken and Padme love affair *cough*. Here's an idea, find an English major. They're all looking for work anyway =D. Any English major with a background in Shakespeare and other literature would be perfect for taking the basic plotline of the 3rd movie and running with it. We need MacBeth-style political intrigue with Hamlet- and Richard III-style warfare drama.
So, what's gotta be in it for sure? Aniken's gotta drop a set and because fearsome, and he's gotta do it quickly because he's already married Padme, and you can be pretty sure he's looking to make babies (Luke & Leia) like any man who gets to marry Natalie Portman. Then he has to meet Palpatine, and discover hate, malice, evil... the Dark Side. There needs to be political upheaval, and a Hilter-style take over of the Galaxy, and Vader's got to be leading. You need a betrayal of the Jedi order, some kind of slaughter of Jedi, real gestapo kind of stuff. The only problem is (and here's where the English majors come in) how exactly does this all go down and why should we the audience be personally involved?
Now, how exactly do you bring back the drama? First of all, fire George Lucas' ass. Or did I say that already? He seems to have lost his eye for the dramatic. Higher John Woo maybe. It'd be cool as hell to see Mission Impossible-style fight scenes, especially the destruction of the Jedi Order. He could even use his white pigeons (Woo's signature effect) to accent the destruction of the force of good in the Galaxy. Whoever is directing needs to watch old Hitler reels. The man had a way to rally people to a cause and evoke a real passion for vengeance. If the Empire wants to recruit Stormtroopers (rather than clone them all... a little far-fetched and contrived), there needs to be motivation. Fear is good, like with Captain Needa in Jedi, but initially, for massive political change to take place, there needs to be a reason. Maybe turn the Trade Federation into a despotic military robot-making juggernaut that must be crushed and the Jedis stand in the way... who knows? The English majors! =)
Ok, one other idea that really needs to find it's way into this movie. Show a battle from the command post. Having a holographic map with little division icons moving around while the Empire grows more and more arrogant, then send Aniken/Vader out to start wailing on stuff, and through cruelty of some sort, turn the battle into a slaughter. That's how you create a feared Jedi. He needs to kill living things too, not just droids, or it won't have the same evil effect. What I don't want to see is the ring of lasers in the Colisseum like in Attack of the Clones. Too much special effects, not enough drama and story.
And one final thing, don't EVER name is Attack of the (ANYTHING)!
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